Learning - #2

One of the biggest learning experiences I encountered this semester was teaching and observing in an 8^th grade Spanish class.  I have taught many times in front of high school students, but this semester was entirely different.  My first day walking into the classroom, I had forgotten how small eight graders were.  There was such a difference between eighth and ninth graders that I wasn’t expecting.

Every time I taught a lesson or an activity, I was overcome with nervousness and anxiety.  My hands would get clammy, my heart would race, and I would start falling all over my words.  In other words, I was a nervous wreck.  I couldn’t figure out why I was struck with this intense uneasiness.  Then one day it hit me.  These students were much more dependent on me than the ninth graders were.  These students still needed their hands held.  They did not have as much autonomy nor had they learned the necessary skills to be responsible students.  Therefore, I felt this responsibility for them; I felt that their success was dependent upon me – and it was!

However, I need to take a step back and breathe.  I’ve taken Spanish for 16 years and have had so much exposure to the Spanish language.  I have the knowledge and the ability to teach thirteen and fourteen year olds, but the responsibility I felt for them was overwhelming.

This experience taught me that I need to trust myself and have confidence in my abilities.  I am perpetually stressed for a fear of failing.  But teaching is my future profession and I’m prepared to teach.  In 15 months, I will have a classroom all to myself, I will teach for about six hours a day.  I need to let the Spanish-speaking part of my brain take over and share what I know with the next generation.  I know that I need to have confidence in order to have a successful classroom, and I need to trust in my knowledge because I know that I can teach an exciting, productive Spanish I class.